I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I think your dad took our porno
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
