best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.