i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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