The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
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He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
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Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.