his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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