Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
vagina is talking i cant
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
they're reeeeeally big trays
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.