Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad

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  (970): Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad http://tfl.nu/podg
  Replies (3) Good night (1322) Bad night (661)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Pants 0. Shit 1.

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  (269): Pants 0. Shit 1. http://tfl.nu/y752
  Replies (8) Good night (839) Bad night (3236)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up

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  (647): I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up http://tfl.nu/4ijk
  Replies (10) Good night (491) Bad night (2776)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.

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  (240): And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender. http://tfl.nu/1lfm
  Replies (8) Good night (6269) Bad night (565)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.

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  (905): He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later. http://tfl.nu/c4t5
  Replies (25) Good night (6287) Bad night (1000)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.

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  (416): No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up. http://tfl.nu/0i7a
  Replies (14) Good night (4594) Bad night (2632)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.

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  (860): There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now. http://tfl.nu/p8mk
  Replies (6) Good night (3220) Bad night (786)
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  (619): View more from California

  on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.

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  (619): on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed. http://tfl.nu/fpfi
  Replies (6) Good night (3087) Bad night (1137)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.

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  (717): reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control. http://tfl.nu/bdi5
  Replies (15) Good night (1077) Bad night (3816)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!

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  (281): WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?! http://tfl.nu/4ghk
  Replies (20) Good night (2915) Bad night (4727)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  Vomiting outside the employee entrance

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  (217): Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me? (1-217): Vomiting outside the employee entrance http://tfl.nu/gco9
  Replies (15) Good night (7145) Bad night (1538)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am

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  (774): My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am http://tfl.nu/yrwz
  Replies (8) Good night (939) Bad night (1599)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.

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  (404): I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity. http://tfl.nu/w9sj
  Replies (12) Good night (1862) Bad night (550)
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  (909): View more from California

  I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.

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  (909): I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting. http://tfl.nu/6xjr
  Replies (2) Good night (606) Bad night (355)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I hugged the bouncer as we left.

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  (505): I hugged the bouncer as we left. http://tfl.nu/rbxh
  Replies (3) Good night (619) Bad night (281)

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