Jerry, you need to find god
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
