last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
