Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
