Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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