I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
This is classic penis vs brain.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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