Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
