That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Girls should come with a carfax report
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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