absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
