Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
