you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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