Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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