Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
