it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
