he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Farmville is her only friend.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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