And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
