the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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