kristin has been a bad kristin
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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