Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
