I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
