I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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