no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
