At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
