I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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