My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
