do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
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