you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
What a dumb baby whore.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize