mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
