I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
