So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
