I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
