Sry I called you an 8
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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