I hate all girls vehemently.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
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May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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