I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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