Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize