I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
as a side note pls kill me
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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