Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
