Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
this is an emotional support booty call
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize