i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
