she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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