i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize