someone get that fucking seahorse.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize