he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
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Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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