You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
