I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
