idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
