i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
