He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
