Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you guys were way drunker than both of me
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
