She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
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