I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
