All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
so let's talk penis.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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