how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
