Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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