I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
