do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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