3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
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