He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
