I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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