Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
