I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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