i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
