would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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