He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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