just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
