jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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