dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
