Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
