How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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