jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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