I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
